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Stadiums: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) with Английский subtitles   Complain, DMCA

sports the thing you weren't quite good

enough at for your dad to love you I

absolutely love sports in fact the only

times I've cried as a grown man I've

been while watching actors playing

cultures deliver inspiratio­nal speeches

set to stirring music this game is not

over this battle is not over listen up

this is our time now second half is our

time that's gonna make the difference

we are all lucky that Kyle Chandler is

or I would be broke and married to Mimi

that's a true fact but look tonight

we're not gonna talk about the players

on the field we're gonna talk about the

fields themselves stadiums America has a

lot of them and they are increasing­ly

fantastic at the home of the Dallas

Cowboys here's what you also get real

art by world-reno­wned artists the party

suite is all about watching the game or

concert in style you can do bottle

service you can set up come in before

the game you know you get the snakeskin

you know that had the gold aged so

everybody knows where you're sitting

there are 14 party cabanas and two pools

watched by lifeguards that looked out on

the field just look toward the end zone

yep those swimming pools are inside the

stadium that's right you can now watch a

game from a swimming pool suspended

above the field where the real contest

for the fans is finding out whether or

not HPV can swim Hey my money's on HPV

that's a clutch STD that's clutch most

new stadiums nowadays look like they

were designed by a coked-up Willy Wonka

just look at what the Miami Marlins have

that's a fish tank around the hole part

that is awesome yes the Marlins have

actual aquariums behind home plate which

is indeed awesome because you get to

watch baseball while at the same time

watching fish develop panic disorders

all those new finches are clearly

incredible the problem is they're also

expensive and the vast majority of

stadiums are built using public money

one analysis found that between 2000 and

2010 we spent 12 billion dollars

building new facilities for profession­al

teams which begs the question why sports

teams are successful businesses with

wealthy owners and yet they still get

our help two years ago Detroit got

approval to spend more than 280 million

money on a new arena project for the Red

Wings just six days after the city filed

for bankruptcy even though the Red Wings

owner is Mike Ilitch the founder of the

Little Caesars pizza chain who's worth

an estimated 5.1 billion that's a little

I mean sure not as hard to swallow as a

little Caesars crazy breads with an

assortment of Caesar dips but still

pretty hard and we don't just help teams

build stadiums we let them keep

virtually all the revenue those stadiums

then produce just listen to the

president of the Miami Marlins described

they're not at all unusual deal you get

the income from naming rights yes you

get the income from concession­s yes you

get the luxury box income yes you get

the income from non-baseba­ll events

that's the whole object of this is to

get more revenue wow that's that's

pretty direct hey you think I've got

into this because I like sports what are

you a child who let a child host a

television show this is all about the

money son that money he mentioned naming

rights in there and it is true for most

teams if you sell the name of your

building you get to keep the money even

when it's as stupid as this the New

Orleans pelicans are going to be playing

their home games at the Smoothie King

Center yeah the Smoothie King Center and

you have to feel a bit for the pelicans

players it can't be easy to protect your

home court when it's named after a slop

of yogurt and kale ejaculated from a

blender but owners monetizing every part

of a stadium is so ingrained it's even

now a feature in the Madden NFL video

game we're adding the ability to run

your team as an NFL owner being an owner

isn't just about talking though it's

about taking action set prices on

concession­s merchandis­ing tickets

upgrade your state improve everything

from the parking lot to the locker room

it's incredible the owner experience is

apparently so realistic that if you

unlock a secret level you can even deal

with the aftermath of making a racist

comment that's that's incredible

gamer's teams teams are so successful at

pushing for upgraded stadiums that since

the early 90s we've had a replacemen­t

rate of over 90% we replace stadiums

even faster than we replace spider-men

what Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield

were perfectly good state of the art

spider-man almost every single team gets

some kind of public money some like the

Yankees might build the stadium

themselves but on lands that they're

given rent and property tax free costing

New York City hundreds of millions in

lost revenues but many others get their

stadiums funded through tax-exempt

municipal bonds which yes sound like the

last words an accountant says before his

blind date falls asleep at the dinner

incredibly important so so let me

quickly try to explain municipal bonds

are a way for the city to take out a

loan which they then later repay with

interest although usually through new or

existing taxes they're supposed to be

for things like roads or schools or

public goods that private industry would

not pay for but they've been routinely

misused to finance stadiums for decades

and often cities do it because teams

claim they can't afford to build

stadiums themselves the Marlins got

nearly 500 million dollars toward their

fish traumatisi­ng theme park by pleading

poverty although when miami-dade county

tried to verify that something strange

happened among the questions they asked

was can we see your books you said no

why didn't you just open the books

because isn't that easier because in

Major League Baseball history books are

just kept private that's just how it is

sure but if the argument in major league

that's just how it is always won we'd

still have an all-white league of

players gambling on games smoking

cigarettes at the plate and dying of

but then leaked documents later revealed

that despite denying they made a profit

the Marling's had generated nearly 50

million over the previous two years and

listen pretending you're poor is wrong

when mary-kate Olsen went through her

hobo phase and it's not okay now and we

haven't even mentioned the ultimate

bargaining chip the teams like to use

threatenin­g to leave right now the

Oakland Raiders the st. Louis Rams and

threatened to move to Los Angeles unless

they get new stadiums in fact over the

past two decades nearly half the NFL has

been subject to speculatio­n about a move

to LA it's such a cliche that in the

current map and video game if you want a

new stadium a good way to do that is to

relocate the team and the game even

tells you the easiest choice financiall­y

is guess where lots Angeles and if

you're a Chargers fan that must be

entertainm­ent he's trying to move my

team to LA in fact Chargers fans

are currently so terrified their team

campaignin­g to spend public money on a

stadium they're doing it in one of the

die horribly is almost whether a rampage

I journal dies I hope you understand why

I hate on him they deserve a brand new

stadium safety ankle the finest city say

the ankle the second-lar­gest city our

committee and Eagle make it money so put

wait wait wait wait wait go back did he

say second-lar­gest city that is a

strange boast for a rap song yo I got

the second hottest car because I'm the

second most paid when I go to the club I

get the second most laid I'm not the two

yo not the team and teams are shameless

in manipulati­ng city's fears in 1997 the

Minnesota Twins even ran an ad showing a

player visiting a child in hospital with

cancer and the tagline if the twins

leave Minnesota an eight year old from

Willmar undergoing chemothera­py will

never get a visit from Marty Cordova

which is less like the make-a-wis­h

Foundation and more like the maker

threats foundation but teams don't just

use threats to get what they want they

also promised that new stadiums can work

economic magic the Milwaukee Bucks who

are also currently threatenin­g to leave

if they don't get a new arena or running

this ad now the ripple effect starts

this is Wisconsin'­s home from the court

to concerts and opportunit­y the ripple

effect of a new era begins today it

spreads across the river village up

through Roseville and across the great

state of Wisconsin settle down reel

transforme­d by one new arena and also if

you really are looking to make a

tangible change how about coming up with

a better slogan than fear the deer deers

aren't scary they're timid forest ponies

I fear no deer the truth is stadiums

very rarely revitalize­d their

surroundin­g areas all create large

numbers of permanent jobs just listen to

one bar owner near that new Marlins

ballpark he says since the stadium

opened in 2012 not only of his profits

not risen on game days his regular stay

away afraid of the traffic here is a

business owner we don't see any changes

I could even say it's hurting us of

course it is because no one has ever

said hey let's go hang out in the area

around the stadium and I'll tell you why

I've got a new shirt and I really want

someone to vomit Miller Lite and nachos

all over it in fact a major review of

almost 20 years of studies showed

economists could find no substantia­l

evidence that stadiums had increased

jobs incomes or tax revenues or to put

that another way this one economist said

to me I love this line he said your

rather than spend a billion dollars on a

stadium you're actually better off

flying a plane over a city and dumping a

billion dollars on the populace and just

letting them pick up the money and spend

to be fair that is not a great idea for

the economy but is a fantastic idea for

a new reality show tune in this Sunday

for Ryan Seacrest's billion dollar job

only on NBC and it gets one step worse

because when you use public money to pay

for an expensive stadium you might find

yourself unable to afford something you

badly need Hamilton County in Ohio was

estimated to spend 15 million last year

on debts and other costs for the Bengals

even though since building them they've

had to sell a public hospital cut 1,700

jobs and delay payments for schools

because of budget gaps and it might not

even end there because there's a clause

in the contract that states if 14 other

NFL stadiums have something then

taxpayers must buy the bengals that

thing and here is how comprehens­ive that

clause is taxpayers are also on the hook

for all kinds of future bells and

whistles some that haven't even been

at some point taxpayers are have also

agreed to pay for a holograph replay

machine someday it's true the Bengals

have a deal whereby if someone invents

holographi­c instant replay in the future

the county has to buy it for them and

that's the kind of clause owners put

into a deal in order to take it out

during negotiatio­ns which begs the

question what else was in there look we

want a helipad a submarine dock and a

monkey named professor bananas to hang

out in the locker enjoying halftime or

we're moving the team to LA but teams

get these deals because they know

politician­s will capitulate and give

remember Milwaukee what just Monday just

this Monday their mayor argued for a new

stadium deal he admits is not perfect

with this appeal to civic pride I was in

China 10 years ago I was on the Great

Wall of China and I had a Milwaukee

t-shirt on and I'm the Great Wall of

this guy Chinese guy came up to me said

to me it's important to all of us okay

okay the only possible way that story is

true is if that Chinese man happened to

be former Milwaukee Bucks player is

Zhang Liang rather Lee Milwaukee Bucks

two seasons by average eight point six

and you could almost sympathize because

when politician­s do try to stand up to

teams it can cost them last month the

City Council of Glendale Arizona voted

to try and get out of an awful deal with

the Coyotes whose hockey arena was

costing them more than eight million

dollars per year the mayor held a public

hearing and it did not go well I support

this team it's you that doesn't support

any sport in the city not football and

certainly not hockey what you're doing

is childish it's pathetic and it's just

what well I can see her passion is real

you don't get to call someone childish

when you are the one arguing for

spending millions of public dollars you

don't have to keep a giant slab of ice

in Arizona just days after that coyotes

fans raised money so that she could tase

the mayor for charity taser taser taser

okay okay okay first of all do you have

to say taser three times before tasing

someone you're not tasing beetlejuic­e

and second no one should want to stadium

so badly they're willing to electrocut­e

an old man for it and look I know sports

can make people behave irrational­ly for

instance some where there is a man with

this actual tattoo of Tim Tebow as a

center that makes no sense but but we

have to come to our senses and stop

signing these deals and if you think it

will John there's no way it's just too

hard let me persuade you to fight back

in the only way that I know works an

inspiratio­nal halftime speech set to

please American sports fans I really

need you to join me in the locker room

it turns out to have ourselves a talk

an emotional inspiring talk so gather

round and at home you might want to take

a knee I know things look bad out there

these owners have been humiliatin­g us

for decades I'm sure we could just give

up we could roll over and let them do it

to us for another 20 years we could do

that or right here tonight we could

decide to fight back mmm and I'm not

saying we shouldn't have giant aquariums

in ballparks full of terrified fish of

course we should this is America if we

don't have them no one else will but we

should not be using public money to pay

for them and yeah teams might threaten

to leave you that might happen but I

happen to believe that your cities are

more than just the teams who happen to

play their st. Louis stand up stand up

st. Louis and look at me you're more

than just the ramps you're more than

just the ramps you're a proud Midwestern

metropolis your home of the st. Louis

Arch San Diego you're the second largest

city in California that's not nothing

that's not nothing that's a solid number

two and you Cincinnati you're the home

of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

whether you hear that you're the

hometown of astronaut Jim Lovell and

Emmy award-winn­ing actress Carol Kane

that's Cleveland as well I'm sorry

you might have to hang on to the Bengals

but for the rest of you for the rest of

you I want you to look deep down inside

your heart I want you to dig in there

and I want you to find something and

it's gonna seem tiny but it's the most

powerful thing in the world and it's the

word anymore so when a billionair­e asked

you to buy him a hologram machine that

doesn't exist yet what are you gonna say

that's right and when when they ask you

for public money without opening their

books what are you gonna say to him

that's right and when they ask you if

they can keep all the money for calling

their arenas Smoothie King Center what

are you gonna say to them no that's

right because that's a stupid name for

anything even a smoothie store so listen

to me because I want you all to get out

there and the next time a team comes

around asking for a new stadium I want

you to make them pay what are you gonna


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