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I had 200-something characters to collect.
You’re literally the last on the list.
I see you’ve been waiting a while.
Why couldn’t I go with the other blue guy?
I would have paid extra for first class!
There’s just a couple who haven’t\nput their uniforms on yet.
It’s, uh, this Thor und Captain America.
Get them in here immediately, Kurt -\n
Why did some of us wake naked and others fully clothed?
Is everyone clear on the situation?
Oscar regenerates us at the end of each battle\n
Does this mean we are all actually robots?
You were always a robot, dumbass!
You gotta to cut a real person’s hand off.
As the most frequent winner of the Super-Hero-Bowls
I have had the truth revealed to be many times by this...
It has taken years of practice, but I taught myself\n
I foresaw a chain of events\nthat could lead us to this moment.
Before the conclusion of the last Super-Hero-Bowl
I committed supercide as a diversion
covertly restructuring myself inside the nearest cell
after which I was able to teleport between the cells\n
In a few days, you will be forced\nto battle in an Arena.
Unless you do as I say, you will lose.
Her power is unbeatable, but it wasn’t always".
I spent the next few days pottering around my cell
altering reality to keep myself entertained.
Why didn’t you just use the Time Stone\nto skip the wait?
I told you - I was entertained.
I crocheted a rather smashing Christmas sweater.
When the doors opened, I stepped out\nand you all know the rest.
Well, now that we’re all awake
why don’t you just beam us all out of here?
The arena is enclosed in an invisible barrier\n
The barrier emanates from Oscar himself.
Mikey, what are you doing?\nPainting the Sistine Pizza Box?
I’m taking notes so I don’t forget.
It’s a secret plan, Mikey - you can’t write it down.
I think we need to address the Godzilla in the room
It appears there's a spatial displacement field\n
that allows beings of great size\nto occupy smaller volumes.
Textbook dimensional transcendentality.
That’s poured a tonne of concrete into that plot hole.
I’ve checked the outcome of 15 million possible futures.
You never find what you’re looking for\nin the first 15 million.
It’s gonna take a miracle to pull this off.
He’s the blight of my existence.
You have my permission to cry about it.
I’m not working with her until she bends the knee.
How ‘bout I bend it in your face?
It’s better than him being your parent.
It’s better than your parent killing you.
It’s better than the parent being killed by the child.
It’s better than your sister taking one of your eyes!
Are you sure it wasn’t you they adopted?
Oh, that's great! That's great...!
We can continue to fight each other.
It is time for Super-Showdown-Bowl.
Ech. There’s so much more pressure\nwhen it’s a solo outing.
You are both here for one purpose:
To decide... once and for all...
which of you is The Ultimate Warrior.
Much as I hate disappointing the people at home.
If it’s because I’m a girl than you are dead,\nminus the “pool”.
And I just can’t bury someone I dig.
I think we may actually be soulmates.
Although I’m not sure why you’d have to\n
From the footage I’ve seen,\nyou’re pretty much invincible.
And believe me, If you hit me with that bat
I can repair any part of me that breaks...
You have both made a serious mistake.
Sure hope you guys are on my team.
Too many pop culture references to be made!
It’s so hard to get some alone time\nin this arena of death!
How do we get him to come down?
The lambs just wouldn’t shut up.
I’m having an old friend\nover to my house for a light supper.
They gave me an Oscar I couldn’t refuse.
Those aren’t the frickin’ lines, guys.
I’ve had experience blowing large balls.
Just gotta find a long crack\n
I wasn’t around during his formative years.
A bad feeling about this, I have.
Did you really think I would grant you
Hey! Stealing other people’s things is my thing.
I’m gonna kill you with all the colours of the rainbow.
Meesa used to think Darth Vader was a bom-badass
I never wanted to burst open someone’s chest -
Oh, I feel absolutely dreadful that a poor soul\n
The green ones are my favourite.
He’s strong but he’s not as fast as us.
I dozed off whilst you were talking about how fast you are.
That was... probably meant for me, but--
It’s an honour to be nominated.
Tragically, this is probably the closest\n
I would NOT like to thank the Academy!
Unless that race is fast and furious.
Pull up a chair - it’s Prime Time!
Stay at the outer edge, Mr Stark, \nso you don’t get hurt!
How can we defeat him? He has all our powers.
The only way we can defeat him\nis if we work together.
Like an eclectic assortment of individuals\n
my hand is on the bottom\nand it's now unbelievably heavy.
He’s impervious to stainless steel!
It seems to be having an effect.
To tear us a new one in front of all his subjects.
- I concur.\n
In fact, I probably felt it before you did.
There is a hidden weakness\nhe hopes we will not uncover.
Or fly it off, with your exclusive “wings”.
From the detailed scratch analysis,\n
You know who that’s named after, right?
Well, if it’s a scratch it probably came from me.
Hey. I scratched him way harder than you.
You couldn’t scratch a scratch-and-sniff\nwith that manicure.
If either of you think you can beat me\n
I was knacking on his feet for a while there.
Maybe it was the same way I got my scars:
Someone gave him a harmonica\nmade from recycled soda cans.
The scratch analysis was conclusive.
The only way to know what caused the scratch
Stop checking futures.\nWe need you to check the past!
I’ll send his consciousness into his younger self.
Is there no one else who travels through time?
Boy, they really redressed the Town Square this time.
I don’t think we’re in Hill Valley anymore, Marty.
We need you to go back ten minutes in time
and find out how that giant Oscar\ngot a scratch on his heel.
The time machine only seats two!
Yes I am. And what’s your name?
I travel forwards, in real time.
I started talking to you five seconds ago
Where we’re going, we don’t need Ron Weasley.
Help us, group of random time travelers.
What the blazes just happened?
According to the time circuits
There’s people fighting down there!
I’m more a lover than a fighter.
At least I would be if my lovers didn’t put up a fight.
“On the good ship, Lollipop...”
There’s no place like home.\nThere’s no place like home.
You... are the Ultimate Warrior.
That didn’t go the distance at all!
People, please - this is still in its infancy.
The more movies Earth makes
the more characters there will be.
Imagine this battle in 80 years.
We should go further back in time
and kill Oscar when he is a defenceless child.
Also, you may only end up scarring him.
Dudes, it’s my doppelgangster!
They promised, and they finally delivered.
I’m in a car with four doctors\nand I’ve never felt so sick!
it’s not cool to mess with\nanother man’s private vehicle. Ok?
Doc, what are we doing in a previous Super-Hero-Bowl?
We've only made it 99% of the way\n
What - you don’t have backup?
Who travels through time\nwithout contingency plutonium?
The only power source capable of generating\n
Unfortunately, you never know when or where
But how do we get him to channel that\n
Well, you’re literally asking for it.
Let’s get somewhere less conspicuous.
How do we get close enough to Oscar\n
I borrowed it from a friend.
I knew that gingernut was poor
It’s an invisibility cloak. Watch.
It’s literally the greatest cloak ever!
Now for the next ten minutes,\ndon’t take your eyes off his feet.
Just for once I’d like to pick on someone my own size!
Yeah, you and all the other Cabbage Patch Kids.
Well, it wasn’t Child’s Play.
If a cane falls in an arena and no one’s around to see it
Then it’s lucky we succeeded.
We just sent you back to the past!
Yeah I know, you did send us back to the past\nbut we’re back -
- Elementary, my dear Wa-\n- Shut it!
So we buy him off with gold and he lets us go?
So he’s vulnerable to a single element\n
but it still happens to be here?
I’ll try and dent him with my trident!
“Idol” hands do the Devil’s work!
Guys, I can’t think of a lame pun for “scepter”.
I mean, I’ve been playing around with “September”...
So you’ve found my weakness.
Aren’t you gonna throw all your gold at him?
I am fluent in over 6 million forms of scratching!
Our Oscar campaign is falling to pieces!
We can hurt him, but it’s not enough!
Perhaps it is like a food allergy.
So the worst he has to fear from us\nis a bad case of hives?
If you are highly allergic to peanuts,\n
But if you swallow the peanut...
we just need to get him to swallow a peanut.
What do we have that’s made of gold
Think! We have precious little time!
We need a small amount of gold\n
Does that... RING... any bells?
You know, I’d really like to help you out, D.P.
Women really do let themselves go\nwhen you slap a ring on ‘em!
Boy this crowd sure got their cake and ate it!
She’s been consumed by the power of the Ring.
Recovering Ringaholic, 16 years sober.
Ah, there’s plenty more fish in the sewer.
I don’t think I’m in a healthy relationship.
Well that’s it then - we are through!
I’m- I'm gonna respect myself.
I’m gonna stop breaking things and start building ‘em.
When people see me coming,\n
they’ll push 'em forward and whisper,\n
if you work hard and live pure.”
I feel like my life is just beginning.
Unless of course someone gives me laser arm removal.
You’re luck’s run out, ‘Pool.
Every now and then I fall apart.
Whatever you’re going by these days!
Release the not-so-secret weapon!
The power you’ve accumulated\nis too much for any one being.
I’m playing the world’s smallest violin for you.
Given our current enormity,\n
You know you can’t destroy me.
Your weakness is your emotions.
That’s the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen!
John, you can’t eat your pain!
It was stolen by that Sphynx cat on meth!
If you kill me, you cannot be regenerated.
You know I am telling the truth.
We would rather die free\nthan live forever as your puppets.
So this is what it feels like...
Ohhhh, I don’t feel so good...
We can’t hold him much longer!
I’ll switch it to vibrate only.
All those movies you studied for so many years.
You never noticed what always happens...
Guess he was not a popular dictator.
How can we claim to have won
There’s one more he can afford to lose.
That’s a… much better idea than what I was thinking of.
So. Everyone just gets to come back?
You can’t celebrate without music!
Bring it in here, you little scamps.
disintegrate into radiant particles\nand float away on the wind.
I’m so happy I feel like my chest is gonna burst!
You little snitch-snatcher, you!
What were we even fighting about?
Hey - you can always use a spare.
Can I ask you an important question\nabout your daughter?
I got this off a... close friend.
It doesn’t make one turn invisible, but...
that’s a big check in the plus column.
I don’t think we’re quite ready for that just yet.
Whatever you’re hiding, I’ve dated worse.
See? I knew it was too soon.
OK look, I’ve been researching\n
What are we supposed to watch now?
You should watch our movies.
From what I understand,\n
What do we do now? Where do we go?
I certainly don’t want to stick around here.
It’s always Summer - never Winter.
Humans... are an extraordinary species.
Heck, they created all of us.
was a lot for them to handle.
Hundreds of them all at once?
I fear they’d suffer superhuman fatigue\nand turn on us.
Well, if we can’t go to Earth
Oh, is there a world out there\nthat we could call home?
Well, don’t know about that, but...
No one wants to live on your saggy old planet.
Wait - you’re dad is a planet?
Hey, look - I’m familiar with\nliving in the shadow of a parent
All in favour of building our own world?
How do we get out of here though?
The barrier has been destroyed.
I can teleport us anywhere in the known universe.
Well what are we waiting for?
are we going to call our new world?
It cannot be associated with any one property.
That wouldn’t be fair to the rest.
- That's actually a very good point.\n
I don’t know what it means, but I like it.
I’ll start building it as soon as we get there.
It will be the first planet designed by committee.
It’s funny how Oscar only did\nlive-action heroes and villains
when there’s so much more to choose from.
I guess there’s only so many characters\none arena can hold.
It’s a Far Cry from Uncharted Skyrim
which, er... was a bit of a Bioshock.
I can’t stain my blade with the flesh of an innocent!
He’s committing Grand Theft Kart!
It’s not a street, but when in Rome...
You’re knockin’ the Crafts table!
You are the weakest Link. Goodbye.
I’m so thrilled to be here - it’s smurferrific!
Exploiting the intellectual properties of other people
always brings a huge smile to my face.
We were cooked in the same pot!
Bring it on, you half-baked biscuits!
In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!
Everyone stay back - we’re having a domestic!
Whenever you are feeling blue--
Kermie, I though you loved me!
It’s not easy being forced to…
You are the ultimate breakfast cereal.
Rice Krispies should have won.
Allow me to Quinn-troduce ArtSpear Entertainment
It’s just these two nerds above us\n
and continents of hard work.
But it’s super easy to help them out.
Subscribing only takes one second.
Of course, if you want to help more
you can always become a sponsoring\nmember of this channel.
So jump aboard, cos there’s plenty more\nwhere this came from.
Fanfictasia isn’t gonna build itself!
[ROBIN]\nHoly end screen voice-over, Batgirl!
[BATGIRL]\nBatman’s in trouble - we need to get out of this cell.
[SHORT ROUND]\nYou listen to Short Round, you live longer!
[BATGIRL]\nOK, I’m listening.
[SHORT ROUND]\nYou see? You are still alive!