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Brett Gelman - iBrain with Английский subtitles   Complain, DMCA

this is brett gelman with AI brain in

the year 2060 an old rich man gave a

lecture the iPod the iPhone the iBook

the ITV VI car the AI plane the AI rifle

the I crow wave oven yes you all own

these you all love these wonderful Apple

products however you do not actually

know true love no you don't do you think

you truly love my creation sleek

metallic smoothness like they were your

own children but you don't for you have

not yet experience­d true love because

you have not yet experience­d what I am

about to give you everyone in the

audience looked at each other with

confusion what could he mean what could

good old Steve possibly mean this time

as they looked into each other's

bewildered eyes Steve Jobs the

wealthiest and now the oldest man alive

continued his lecture from the podium

you may think I've given you all I can

give you may think this is all there is

to get from the good folks at Apple but

I think you'll find you're quite

mistaken prepare people prepared to

receive the final thing you shall need

to become the complete human being

you've always dreamed of being ladies

and gentlemen I present the I brain at

this Steve Jobs took out what seemed to

be a white smooth football helmet but

without the face guard everyone looked

around at each other the I brain what

was this had old man jobs finally gone

insane that's right folks it's the

newest sensation from the good folks at

Apple the I brain comes equipped with

technology that man has been waiting for

since he first slithered out of the mud

imagine that's something that does

everything all other products have ever

done in the history of Apple but inside

your brain I'm talking music movies

high-speed Internet phoning flying and

plus the eye brain comes equipped with a

brand new function never before provided

by Apple thinking that's right folks the

eye brain does all of your thinking for

you well I have to make decisions

yourself why have to remind yourself to

pay those annoying bills why remember to

tell your wife and kids happy birthday

when the I brain can do it for you the

brain does everything and then some so

buy one today folks and give your own

brain a chance to rest for a change okay

right yes I just want to interject

something here yes I mean when you said

it wasn't comedic I mean you were dead

on I mean it's it this is really it's

very serious this is but and it gets

more serious what I'm trying to say is

it sounds like you're trying to be funny

it sounds like you're trying to be

satiric in some kind of safe way I mean

no no I'm not I'm not trying to be okay

all right should I continue do you want

me to continue by the time the old man

had finished his speech the audience was

already up in arms cheering as if they

had just seen Jesus himself emerge from

heaven and hand them the key to

happiness old man Mick Washington was

little Timmy Sperling tugged on his

mother's blouse I want one mommy I want

one and in the back of the auditorium

stood a reasonably attractive man and a

reasonably attractive woman watching the

hysteria objectivel­y as if they were

staring into some twisted human aquarium

the man looked to the woman want to go

Eve the woman looked to the man sure

Adam Adam and Eve walked out of the

auditorium and down Broadway it was

still legal for them to be outside

mandatory curfew please mandatory curfew

how about that I brain hi Eve Adam said

as he checked his pockets to make sure

he hadn't lost his keys I guess I'm not

really into technology I guess it could

be cool though he wasn't really

interested in talking about the I brain

she was currently searching her own

brain to try and remember what polar

bears looked like it had been so long

since she had seen a picture of one and

even longer since they had gone extinct

I mean think about it even thingy that

does all your thinking for you imagine

that I tell you sounds pretty damn good

to me I think I might buy one yeah but

do you think you should so soon if still

wasn't too interested in Adams Chuck

chosen topic of conversati­on she was now

trying to remember if she had bought

enough dehydrated broccoli to hydrate

for supper that night I guess you have a

point there Eve it's usually good to

wait to buy something at least it's two

second-gen­eration but at the same time

Apple makes really high quality products

whatever said Eve is her an Adam

approached her apartment or he's mine

was now fully focused on an entirely

different topic from any of the ones she

had been thinking of before well this is

me she said is Adam stood staring at her

blankly want to come up and [\xa0__\xa­0] why not

reply that him wait when I walked

through the door please please all right

the first one off with her clothes was

Eve her perky tits said hello to Adam

like they were friendly next-door

neighbors and her [\xa0__\xa­0] dripped with

anticipati­on of what Adam had concealed

and his tight blue jeans she got in her

knees and unzipped him yeah she was

right again it was a big hard [\xa0__\xa­0] even

looked up at Adam giving him her heard

oh like [\xa0__\xa­0] me eyes I guess this is for

me Adam still staring into her eyes

licked his lips almost as if he was

preparing to do to himself what Eve was

about to do to him what yeah that's for

Merry Christmas Eve smiled her luscious

lips mere millisecon­ds away from

wrapping around his veiny schlong Happy

Hanukkah she quickly giggled and then

proceeded to get down to business Eve

sucked Adams [\xa0__\xa­0] ferociousl­y kidding he

contained all the please please this is

this is about what's going on right now

in our world like in it he contained all

the unknown secrets of the universe

Adams face clenched an ecstasy god she's

good he thought nobody gives a bj like

Eve eight full minutes went by Eve would

have kept going too but Adam had to stop

nothing's wrong baby it's just if you

keep sucking me like this I'm definitely

gonna come and I don't want to do that

yeah oh yeah what do you want to do

instead Eve asked with a sweaty grin oh

just a little something I like to call

bobbing for [\xa0__\xa­0] pubes Eve like the

sound of that Bob away you dirty [\xa0__\xa­0]

Pig and I picked Eve up and threw her on

the petty spreader pink legs and

immediatel­y shoved his face in something

even Pinker he then proceeded to let his

tongue dance on Eve's [\xa0__\xa­0] like

swirling and twirling with the greatest

of ease II painted her fence with not

one not two but 47 saliva coats I know

it's not it's just comforting where

just then the eaves slapped him across

the face and without warning him took

Adams rock-hard beef loaf and shoved it

into her hot hairy oven at first Adam

teased her just dipping in the tip of

his head and then after a couple of tip

tests of the old [\xa0__\xa­0] water plunged his

whole heart meat thermomete­r deep into

each screamed in ecstasy yeah that's

right [\xa0__\xa­0] me good [\xa0__\xa­0] me good buzz Oh

put your balls in my bucket and get 50

points he got damn perverted clown yeah

and I'm grunted in between thrusts why

do you keep calling me bozo because

you're a clown you're a [\xa0__\xa­0] clown now

go over to my dresser put on your clown

makeup and [\xa0__\xa­0] me some more you slip

with your SiC molesty [\xa0__\xa­0] Adam looked

at Eve's dresser and sure enough there

he got up off her bed walked over to the

dresser and quickly did what his master

had commanded him to do he spread the

white and red paint on his face in such

a way that it looked like he had been

crying for about two hours how's this he

asked perfect you [\xa0__\xa­0] clown now come

over here and funny [\xa0__\xa­0] me Adam whacked

Adam walked back over to the bed but

this time he threw him down on the bed

you might be a clown but I'm a cowgirl

Eve slid on top of Adams backwards and

slit her slit down his Pole she then

proceeded to bounce buckin Bronco

take your ride on the bows a bucking

bronco Adam was starting to lose control

he knew it bust his load any second her

hot fat ass bouncing on his dick like

that it was enough to make the Pope

wanna [\xa0__\xa­0] he was trying to climax to

her moans and groans quickly transforme­d

the screams there was no doubt about it

she was on a one-way trip to orgasm town

I have a surprise for you she said as

what's that ass that I'm trying to last

just a couple more minutes I'm a

squirter just then Eve stood up of it

off of items Adam I'm sorry I'm sorry

just that Eve stood up off of Adam's

[\xa0__\xa­0] and proceeded to spray him with

gallons and gallons of her sweet savory

cunny juice all over his six-pack this

was too much for Adam to match the

vagina squirts with a boatload of hot

vanilla jizz it was so thick it looked

like he had a crust toothpaste factory

in his nut sack come on after their

fruits were fully juiced they collapsed

right beside each other covered and

nothing but each other's musty sweat and

JIT wow talk about a [\xa0__\xa­0] onset Adam

feeling like a cross between Ares the

God of War and Fabio huh yeah said Adam

I'm sorry yeah said Eve her mind then

started to drift she laid there thinking

she'd never noticed before but she

suddenly realized that he had a really

nice face a really really nice face she

liked Adam he was cool you know Adam

I've given it a little more thought and

I think you should just go ahead and buy

yourself the eye brain yeah yeah if you

Adam thought about it some more wiping

the clown makeup off of his forehead you

know I think I will leave I think I will


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