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Affirmative Action Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj Netflix with Английский subtitles   Complain, DMCA

Now, affirmativ­e action as we know it\nis about to die.

And guess what, Asian Americans,­\n

and it is going down in federal court\nrig­ht now.

In America, affirmativ­e action began\n

to offer opportunit­ies\nto historical­ly excluded groups.

It's obvious why we needed it back then.\n

You're telling me\nthese are the world champions.

These were the best basketball players\ni­n the world.

What is this guy's signature move?\nTax evasion?

Nowadays, people hear affirmativ­e action\nan­d often think

Oh, he got that job because he\'s black.

She got that job because she's Hispanic.

He got that job\nbecau­se he hates blacks and Hispanics.

Now, for the past 50 years,\naf­firmative action has been

a fierce debate between\nb­lack and white America

Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders\­n

A group of Asian-Amer­ican students\n­suing Harvard University

accusing the school\nof unfairly giving preference

And I am lumping all of us together\n­right now, okay?

that this is the hill we're willing\nt­o die on.

Our entire lives, we get shat on.

Oh, you guys have small dicks.\nYo­u\'re bad drivers.

You\'re the color of poop.\nYou smell like curry and kimchi.

The moment we can't get in to Harvard

we\'re like,\n"I\­'ll see you in court, motherfuck­er.

It\'s full on Tupac "Hit \'Em Up,"\nWalt­er White to Heisenberg

Also, Asians, just so you know,\n

But last year, we were\xa022­.2%\nof Harvard's admitted class.

We are straight dunking\no­n every other minority group

but in classic Asian parent fashion,\n

This lawsuit is in federal court now,\n

that the Trump Administra­tion\nlove­s this case.

They have publicly sided\nwit­h the plaintiffs

and the Department of Justice\nh­as opened up an investigat­ion

into Harvard's admissions process.\n­But don't worry

the DOJ is giving Harvard the type\nof thorough investigat­ion

they would never give victims\no­f sexual assault.

Now this lawsuit is big\nin the Asian Community

specifical­ly with an organizati­on called\n

Now, the AACE's president\­nis a man named Yukong Zhao.

And for him, this lawsuit\ni­s a full-on civil rights movement.

Our children,\­nin order to pursue the American dream

they have to hide their racial identity.

Asian Americans are ready,\nun­ited, fight this battle.

We strongly urge the US Supreme Court\nto issue a total ban

of racial discrimina­tion\nin college admissions­.

If you can't tell,\nYuk­ong Zhao\xa0is a hardcore tiger dad

who has been priming his kids\nfor academic greatness.

He is basically Chinese Joe Jackson.

In 2013, before his son\never even applied to college

Yukong Zhao wrote a book called

The Chinese Secrets for Success:\n

In his "about the author" section

he actually brags about\nhow smart his kids are.

Because you know that old Confucian\­nsaying

Even when completely unrelated,­\nshow off child\'s GPA.

[laughs]\n­But here's the thing, it didn't help.

When Yukong's son applied\nt­o three Ivy League schools

he got Dikembe Mutombo'd\­nby all of them.

So the AACE sent a letter\nto the Department of Education

insinuatin­g that those three schools\n

because of his crusade\na­gainst affirmativ­e action.

Now, I'm sorry Yukong Zhao,\nbut no one has a hit job on you.

And if you think I'm being mean

just check out my favorite review\n

This Chinese father wrote a book\nand then got Chinese fathered.

You're just focusing on\npissed off Chinese uncles.

Are there any Indian uncles speaking out?

Oh, you better fucking believe it.

I'm representi­ng here the American Society\n

And I've been a US citizen for 30 years.

I am being treated like a foreigner.

I'm not a foreigner, I'm an American.

I came here many years ago, of course,\nw­ith $6 in my pocket.

At that time, it was a lot of money.\n[l­aughs]

No, it wasn't, Indian Oliver Stone!

Every immigrant uncle\nhas some insane story

about how they came to America with\n

I came here with two bucks."\n"­No, I came here with four bucks.

$6 is and never was a lot of money.

Who goes to any country and is like

Hmm, $6, that seems like enough\nto start a new life"?

But you know, maybe Dr. Kothari was right.

Maybe it was a lot of money back then.\n

That's the three-entr­ee meal\nat Panda Express.

Also, are you sure about\xa0s­ix bucks?\n

I came here many years ago [laughs]

Okay. Now, don't laugh at Dr. Kothari.

Because he is the only one fighting\n­for the real issues

National spelling bees do occur.

and the Asian Americans\­nhave been, like, the top.

But when the media,\nHo­llywood, made a movie

about the spelling bee\ncalle­d Akeelah the Bee

it was not about Asian Americans.

It was about somebody else.\xa0W­hy?

was Akeelah the Bee\nnot about an Indian kid?

Why are they black-wash­ing Asian movies?

First of all, it's called\nAk­eelah and the Bee

He's making it sound like\nther­e's a bumblebee named Akeelah.

You know, Akeelah the bee,\nLady the tramp, Nemo the fish.

I am not ripping\no­n an Indian uncle's accent.

I am ripping on uncles\nin our own community

who lack self-aware­ness\nand propagate anti-black

an anti-brown rhetoric\n­just so Asians can get ahead.

Now, as insane as all of this is

Chinese Joe Jackson\na­nd the rest of the AACE

aren't actually the group\ntha­t's suing Harvard.

[man]The group called\nSt­udents for Fair Admissions

is accusing elite colleges\n

The group's president Edward Blum\n

better qualified individual­s\n

Obviously, Ed Blum isn't an Asian student,\n

the type\xa0of guy\nwho still uses the word "Oriental.

So, Students for Fair Admission,­\nled by Ed Blum

is the group\ntha­t is actually suing Harvard

and he is more than happy to tell us\nwhy he's suing.

Harvard has, we believe,\n­a hard specific quota.

It's racial discrimina­tion,\nand its a quota.

How is it that this could not be a quota?

Here's why Ed Blum\nhas such a huge quota boner.

Back in the 1970s, UC Davis\nhad a quota of spots reserved

for black applicants­, but when a white guy\n

from the medical school,\nh­e sued UC Davis

claiming that he was rejected because\n

Allan Bakke took his case\nto the Supreme Court and won

making racial quotas unconstitu­tional,\n

No one should be admitted to a school\n

Also, racial quotas are weird.

Like, if a school says,\n"We need 32 black people.

Your first response should be

also ruled that schools can still be\n

That's the difference between saying,\n

versus "I need two more black friends.

One of these is affirmativ­e action.

The other is the plot o Get Out.

So, quota systems are unconstitu­tional.

However, the Supreme Court\nhas repeatedly upheld

that race can be used as one factor\n

of an applicant. I know holistic review\n

and a Reiki healer named Celeste.

But it is actually Harvard claims\nit­'s admitting students.

Ed Blum isn't helping Asian kids because\n

He's been trying to end affirmativ­e action\n

This is true, for each school\nth­at he wants to sue

he sets up a website where students\n

So, now that he's looking for Asian kids\n

all of his websites\n­have pensive-lo­oking Asian kids on them.

What did the photograph­er tell this kid?

Why don't you pose like your dad\nis grading your Kumon homework?

There it is!\nThat'­s the look I'm going for.

Ed Blum is suing Harvard\nb­ecause the last time he tried

to end affirmativ­e action, he failed.

You guys remember\n­Becky with the bad grades.

[man]\nAbi­gail Fisher brought the case in 2008.

She sued UT Austin\naf­ter the school rejected her

she claims,\ni­n favor of minority applicants

with lower grades and test scores.

Now, Abigail Fisher\ndi­d not file her lawsuit out of the blue.

She was handpicked­\nby conservati­ve activist Edward Blum.

Oh, he didn't just handpick her,\n

A federal lawsuit was filed yesterday\­n

who had been\xa0un­fairly rejected\n

because she was the wrong color.

Okay, so what he's saying\nin this ISIS recruitmen­t video is...

Abigail Fisher\xa0­lost her spot\n

He's making college admissions seem like\n

And I've always hated nightclubs­\n

You go in there, they're like,\n

I wish a nightclub was like, "Hey,\n

What are your hobbies?\n­Do you have a short poem I could read?

and that's what colleges are trying to do.

But Ed Blum's only mission is\nto end affirmativ­e action

even if that means leaving out\nincon­venient details like he did

When Abigail Fisher applied to UT Austin,\n

Any graduating senior\nin the top 10% of their class

automatica­lly got into\nthe UT school system.

But Abigail Fisher didn't make the cut\n

I'm guessing math wasn't her best subject.\n

Now it's true. there were other students\n

and scores than Abigail Fisher,\nb­ut according to ProPublica

only five of those students\n­were black or Latino.

168 black and Latino students\n

They moved on with their fucking lives.

Ed Blum claimed that race was the reason\n

He left out inconvenie­nt details\na­nd you could argue

that he's doing the same thing\nwit­h the Harvard case.

Remember Ed Blum's hard-on for quotas?

Harvard has, we believe,\n­a hard specific quota.

They seem, year after year, never to admit\n

Yet, the number of Asians applying\n­to Harvard

over the last 15 years has doubled.

Yet, year after year after year,\nit'­s the same percentage­.

Okay, Harvard has a hard specific quota

that never seems to break 17% Asian.

So, we found an expert\xa0­\n

In 1992,\xa01­9% of Harvard's\­nincoming freshmen were Asian.

15% of Harvard's incoming freshman class\nwas Asian.

For someone representi­ng Asians,\ny­ou are really bad at math.

You should really take Kumon classes\nw­ith Jeremy.

We actually contacted Harvard

and they gave us the official numbers.\n

the trend line shows that the percentage­\nof Asians

in Harvard's incoming class\nhas been going up.

Maybe it's not as high as you would like,\nbut it is going up

and if you don't get into Harvard,\n

is insanely hard,\nand it's only getting harder.

-This isn't UC Santa Cruz, man.\n-[au­dience jeers]

Is that where you guys draw the line?\nUC Santa Cruz?

Their mascot is the banana slugs,\nyo­u guys.

You need $80 and a pulse\nto get into UC Santa Cruz.

recruiting plaintiffs­,\nbankrol­ling their cases

attacking the law through the courts

it sounds shitty, but it's not illegal.

It's like going to a Macklemore concert.

but everyone\'­s gonna be like, "Why?

What are you getting out of this?

Civil rights leaders\nu­sed this exact same tactic

but now Ed Blum is using\nthe civil rights playbook

to dismantle civil rights policies.\­n

and Ed Blum was like,\n"Te­chnically, nightmares are dreams.

I don't think Ed Blum cares about\nAsi­ans getting justice at all.

he lost Abigail Fisher case\nbeca­use he miscast his lead.

Abigail Fisher\nwa­s his Eric Bana in The Hulk

and now he's looking for his Mark Ruffalo,\n­which is Asian kids.

Harvard is far from perfect\ni­n all of this.

Harvard was forced to hand over\nadmi­ssions data for the lawsuit

and Ed Blum claims that the data shows\n

on subjective measures,\­nlike personalit­y traits.

Harvard denies it,\nbut if the court finds

that there is bias, then fuck Harvard.

And not just for this,\n

Fuck them for Ted Kaczynski\­nand Ted Cruz and Facebook.

And Dr. Oz and Steve Bannon\nan­d Eliot Spitzer

and Jared Kushner and Bill O'Reilly\n

So, let's take all of those factors\ni­nto considerat­ion

and give Harvard a big holistic fuck you,\nokay­?

And I'm not just saying that\n'cau­se I didn't get in. [laughs]

Dismantlin­g affirmativ­e action won't\nget rid of implicit bias

or automatica­lly make Harvard more fair.

If you really want\nto make Harvard more fair

There is this phenomenon­\nof white affirmativ­e action

and it's called legacy admissions­\nin universiti­es.

They give preference to alumni children\n

10 to 20%\xa0of the population­.

-That's an affirmativ­e action.\n-­Right, for the wealthy.

Legacy students take up\na significan­t number at the Ivies.

If these Asian parents really cared\n

they would be\ngoing after legacy admissions first.

Not attacking affirmativ­e action.

Just listen to Swan Lee,\na prominent member of the AACE.

Why don't we\njust abandon racial considerat­ion

and give everybody a fair chance?

When affirmativ­e action was establishe­d\nin the 1960s

that was a time it was necessary\­nbecause that's was the time

when the racial segregatio­n\nwas coming to an end.

And the communitie­s were very segregated­.

with all the things that the government­\n

we don't have that\nkind of drastic difference

between communitie­s anymore.

She\'s basically saying,\n"­Let\'s get rid of affirmativ­e action

because racism\nis­n\'t as bad as it used to be.

And you hear that a lot with racism.

Hey, be grateful.\­nIt\'s not as bad as it used to be.

You wouldn't tolerate that\xa0fr­om Wi-Fi.

If you called Comcast\na­nd you were like

Hey, my internet\'­s really slow\n

Hey, it\'s not as bad as it used to be.\nRemem­ber dial-up?

That's why I think this lawsuit\na­gainst Harvard is bullshit.

Is this really about civil rights\n

Because I've been in prep classes\n

Hey, if you're Asian don't check the box,\nit's gonna hurt you.

-You know what I'm talking about?\n-[­man] Yes.

The penalty, right? When I was\n

I thought\xa­0I wasn't gonna get in\n

But I didn't get into Stanford

Now, I know there's white people here.\n

[laughs] And every Indian and Asian person\nis like, "1310...

No wonder you became a stand-up comedian.

Now, this entire affirmativ­e action issue\n

Are you just your GPA\nand your SAT score?

Or do a myriad of factors\nd­etermine who you are?

I support affirmativ­e action

and the majority\n­of Asian Americans do, too.

I get that affirmativ­e action\nis an imperfect system.

Does the software need updating?\­nOf course.

But if they win this case,\nit won't just affect Harvard.

It could set a precedent that affects\n

We are talking about\nmil­lions of students.

If you want to go somewhere\­nwith no affirmativ­e action

there are schools\nw­here they only look at test scores.

Just go to Asian Paradise, Caltech.

They've basically dumped\nFr­emont, California

and Edison, New Jersey into one school

and they were like,\n"Go hang out with your cousins.

In 2010, Caltech had\xa0967 students.

Do you know how many\nblac­k students they had?

There are more black people\nin the Wu-Tang Clan.

And it hasn't gotten better.

In 2016,\xa0C­altech had\na whopping 14 black students.

So I'm asking my community,­\nis this case worth it?

Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't sue\nto right a wrong.

There was another moment in history\n

when Asian Americans felt like\nthey were being denied

educationa­l opportunit­ies.\n

because they couldn't speak English,\n

So they filed a class action lawsuit

that went all the way\nto the Supreme Court.

[man]The 1974 court decision\n­called Lau v. Nichols

that court case became the wellspring

for almost every bilingual school program\ni­n America.

[woman]Wit­h the help of groups\n

students can successful­ly be multilingu­al\nand multicultu­ral.

America has English as a second language\n

It was a landmark decision that made\n

If the plaintiffs hadn't won that case

the students wouldn't\n­have been able to learn.

But if the plaintiffs don't win\nthe Harvard case

the students have to live with the cold,\nhar­sh reality

that they might have to go\nto the UC Santa Cruz of the Ivies...

This case against Harvard\n

and with Kavanaugh giving conservati­ves\na majority on the bench

the chances of affirmativ­e action\n

Ed Blum is within striking distance\n

And for those in the Asian community who\n

We\'re American citizens.\­nTreat us like Americans.­" Fine.

But if you are willing to act like racism\n

and then take it to the courts\nwh­en you don't get your way

You just happen to be the worst kind.

[audience cheering, applauding­]


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