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Sophie Webster Funny Scenes English Subs with English subtitles   Complain

-You're gonna be wearing that right stupid straw hat

and getting spat at on the bus before you know it

-Yeah well I'd rather have a stupid hat than stupid hair , helmet head

-Hey stop fighting -Makes you look like the village idiot totally challenge.

-Hey I thought you said that you were ready

-Yeah I am -Get your suit on Kevin I don't want them

thinking we're a pair of grimy plebs. -I'm on call

-Don't be silly quick we're gonna be late

-Mum, Rosie called me helmet head again, can I change my hairstyle?

Oh ignore her love it looks lovely

-Yeah really special.

-See this? -It's rubbish.

-Its you on your first day at Oakhill.

There's you in that stupid straw hat and there all the kids from Weatherfield high,

laughing at you and chucking gob balls!

-Right you got 10 seconds to get out of my sight before ill cut that blooming' fringe off

and it won't look like the magazines. - I was only messing.

-Three seconds gone, seven six ,you think I were messing.

I wont know anybody at this new school

I'm gonna miss all my friends -You haven't got any

-Any of your friends ever ask you to stay over?

-She hasn't got any friends -Yeah I have

-What is going on? -I'm auctioning Rat Features

-You what? -Well I don't want it.

-We've only just bought you that. -I wanted a dog if you remember

-You will stop this nonsense right now.

-It's my Guinea pig, I'll do what I like with it.

-Hey what's going on? -She's auctioning off her Guinea pig

We paid a lot of money for that. -Come here.

-What's your R.E teacher called? -Miss Werthington

-Um what do you think you're playing at? -Right, just eat your veg and potatoes

Don't be offended, Ebony-Ray can't eat anything that had a face. That's all.

-Ebony who? -Ebony-Ray

-Her saddo invisible mate

-Shut up. She got a plasma TV in her bedroom

-Yeah she lives with father Christmas and the tooth fairy.

-Stop it Rosie.

I'm sure Ebony-Ray is a lovely girl

Because they're very sensitive aren't they vegetarians? -Puh-lease

-She's dead shy -Alright Ebo?

-So is Ebony-Ray expecting pocket money then?

-Hello, she's got her own mum and dad!

-Will you stop encouraging her.

-Is she in your class? -No she got moved up a year because she's a genius.

-Oh maybe she'll end up at Oakhill like Chesney

-She gets teased a lot because of her braces

-You can hardly notice them -I keep telling her, it will be worth it in the end you know

-Come on, feet

-What now? -Ebony!

-What! -Ebony!

-Sophie, Ebony's sat over there

-She's not

-But you told her to sit there I heard you

-No but she wanted more freedom. She was practising not doing as she was told

and she was sat there

and she didn't lift her feet up. -This is getting beyond a joke.

-You've hoovered her up, you're a murderer!

-Sophie -What

-Your mum would like a word -Ex-mum

-Will you just shut up and listen to her

-Keep still -Ow but your hurting, ow my eye.

-Shut up

-So where's Jembo today then?

-Uh she's not called that she's called Jemma

-I can call her what I want, she's a meth

-No you cant, dad what you doing? -I'm gonna have a go at fixing this radio

-So where's your girlfriend today?

-Give it here or you're dead

-Did you send him one and all?

What will it say?

I love you

-Right -Girls...girls

-Mum tell her to give it here -Valentines cards are just a way for

card sellers to make more money. That's what my teacher says, It don't mean owt!

-get your shoes on both of you. -Craig and Rosie sitting in a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G -Right!

-I could've died -Wouldn't let you die

-She would

Still sit upstairs with headphones on listening to devil music

-It's not devil music

-Yeah it is, dad says it is

and, he says you look gay

-Mum will you tell her

-Where you going?


-We want meat! We want meat! That's enough

-Oi! Chesney!

-Get here now you little basket case -It want me it was her

-and you, you little cheeky cow, that hurt!


-Get off me Chesney you flamin' wazzock

-Janice get off them immediately

-You want locking up you do -Sophie!

-Well yeah, but -see and we knew we had this connection

so it turned out we're cousins, me and her

See you can come round whenever you want now, see, she's family

Happy new year Rosie!

-You total cow!

-Hey where do you think your going?

-To see Craig -oh no you're not

-You. Back upstairs. -Will somebody please tell me what's going on?

-Oh drop dead Sophie -Charming!

-Stop stirring it, you upstairs -but dad

-are you deaf?

-You can't just lock me up forever -You're a kid you live by our rules

-Right, hi my names Sophie and I sleep next to you

does anyone please wanna tell me what's going on?

-Sophie go and put the kettle on for us right now

-Flippin' invisible in this house me

Shut up you snitch calling them

-Yeah and thank God they did

have you got any idea how out of our minds we've been?

-Where were you?


-What about them, they were watching a really like gory horror film

-I'm 15, you're just a kid

-Exactly, I shouldn't be exposed to that sort of stuff should I?

ey? see Nicolette said that could count as abuse

-I don't care what Nicolette says

-Ruined their night and all Sorry about your snogging time

-Right you've got exactly two seconds to tell me what you was playing at

- I went for a walk I don't see what all the fuss is about

- You stupid little girl anything could have happened to you!

you've been smoking - No I haven't

I haven't mum honestly

-I don't believe this -You're 11 years old

and you've been wondering the streets at night smoking

- It wasn't me it was Nicolette!

-Get to bed -You never believe owt I say


- Mum, do you think Rosie will end up all la-di-da like the shedons

because of her posh school? -Wind up coming

- That's not why she goes there

-I reckon she will

this time next year she'll be talking so posh we won't be able to understand what she's saying

-That is so likely darling

-Education isn't about social climate its about learning things

-Yeah and nobody in this family will ever be posh

and to make sure that's understood, your dads going off to the chippie

-Wuv you

-Shut your face

What've you got?

I've told you!

-Get off -That's my best bra

get it off

-Hey girls what is all this noise

-Little rat!

She's trying to strip search me you fascist

-Metalist, look at the state of her

-Just testing that's all

-You said that last time, and wrecked the straps

-Hey, they're my best tights them

-Tell me you haven't been outside

-I haven't got them right yet - You wont ever get them right

-If I had a Blossom I would

-What is a Blossom when its at home?

-£18.99 so obviously I wont get one

- Yeah well what is it? - A first, in first bras

- 3 levels of padding from discreet

- You know for school and that

-To knock ou-to knock out?

-Like for hanging round the offie drinking cider

What do you care?

-Because darling, your mascaras all over the place

-Don't do anything I wouldn't do -I'm sorry I didn't think there was anything

-Well I think your poncy so there

-Why did you used to wear all of that make-up Craig?

was it to cover your ugly mug?

-Sophie -You are so asking for a slap

-Yeah Sophie don't be rude to our guest

-What you all over him like a rash for? usually you cant stick him

I love you too -Mum will you tell her

-Sophie get your coat on

-You'll get over developed thumbs and repetitive stress syndrome

-Yeah and we're all gonna be late, so come on

-So immature

Its called double standards -Tell me about it

-Shh he's here -Morning

-Uh, what time do you call this?


-A phone call would have been nice

-Do you know Kevin people treat this place like a hotel -Ey that's enough

-I think its really nice of Bethany Platt to lend you a skirt

-You're this funny

-Uh non-existent skirt alert

-Oh shut up -Oh stop bickering the pair of you

-Oi, dad did you just see that then?

you just watch where your going

you home-wrecking teacher-loving tart

-Oy -Sorry

think tight tops fluttery eyelashes quivery lips

- Rosie? - Give the lad a coconut

dad its a school day and she's still slobbing about in her nightie

because Rosie, I want to try them

-Sophie its for chavs

-Oh God forbid we go on a package holiday but we behave like chavs

Yeah well I thought if we could get some printed me and Ches could go around posting them

-Brilliant that, thanks love -Well I'm not just a pretty face

this one's got brains and all

Apart from when dunny blew up a plastic bag and burst it

-Promised you wouldn't say owt -And Ches threw himself on top of me

-Like they do in the films, you know with the president

-Yeah well they don't stay lying on them do they once the dangers over

-I said sorry

-I don't think I've ever been so pleased to see you

oh are you ok? I missed you so much

-Happy birthday I'm sorry I didn't get you a present

-Any excuse

-Well yes, the woman at the, uh, newspaper

who sorts out my expenses and everything

-The one you give your bus tickets to

ooh baby like a star like a star ooh baby

-Sophie stop showing off

Table Kevin its the height of bad manners - why cant I sit and puck it

-No all I'm saying is occasionally it would be very nice to have a conversation over our breakfast

-Oh look at the state of it

- oh my god - what, I don't look that bad

-What have you done?

-Rosie - What a slapper

I don't know do I until I've kissed them - Yeah well I might kiss them first

-Yeah well neither of us are gonna kiss them the rate we're going

-Hey aren't you at school yet?

-Yeah I'm half way through double physics, cant you tell?

-I don't wanna jump down your throat, but you don't wanna be late

-no wonder it's rubbish, here

-Can I? -Just this once

Right wipe this rubbish off first

-I cant believe you just licked me

-Shut up

-Come on lets go -Bye Mr Webster, Bye Rosie

-Ciao Benji

-Bye Rosie

-Take it from someone way more experienced

-And she means way, way more experienced

-If you want something, then grab it

-At least I hope it is anyway -Oh she's doing my head in

-Before you start work on the floor oh and don't go too near the edges you'll

splash the skirting -Yes sir

-Are you mocking me -No, sorry I thought it was just funny

-Will I have to dance?

-Yeah, everyone's gotta do a freestyle solo in the middle of the hall

I'm only joking, will you have to dance?

-Anyway it will take your mind off things

-In fairness I'd love to see you dance

pay good money to see that Chezzers

Hows it go again? Wax on wax off

-Leave him alone, he's doing a good job

-What are you doing up so early?

have you wet the bed?

You gonna get your mum to sew your badges on your trunks?

-I might take you for a spin one day

-You cant drive

-Mate have a great gig

-Get out!

and don't come back

and your dumped!

come on Ches

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear Chesney

Happy birthday to you -Alright

Dad you've done it!

You've done it dad

ew dad you're all sweaty

-I've just finished a race

-Course, can't wait, I've texted all my mates

-You what?

-Only joking

sometimes it causes me to tremble tremble tremble tremble tremble

-oh I'll tremble you in a minute -Were you there when they crucified my lord

-Sophie I can not believe that you were singing that song

-Mam have we got a shovel for the rabbit?

-Full stop -Oh so now you're using punctuation as real words

exclamation mark

The lad known to the area girls as the ginger Zac Efron

-Get lost -Hey its the flame haired Zac Efron

-What -You brought us no wedding cake?

-Is that meant to be funny?

-Wanna come cockles?

-Yeah great

-Dad, are you gay?

All seated on the ground, the angel of the lord came down

and glory shone around -will somebody shut her up?

One of the best nights of my life. I met this guy

-Oh I could have known there was a bloke involved

was he like, totally buff

-Well, no. But he would have been when he was younger

in like 1843

-Why how old was he?

-Um dunno

late 40s early 50s?

-You dirty mare

-His name's Alfie

and I met him in rumours

and he reckoned, because I'm like so good looking and everything

like really good-looking like

- Like the perfect 10

mum have you heard this

-You already got me a shirt -I know I got you this as well, open it


-look inside

-inside what?

-The slipper you dipstick

-I can't believe it

-What's up?

I put two pounds on, I wont fit into my outfit later

-Well you should have thought about that last night when you were scoffing all the quality street

-Oh shut up, its alright for you can eat what you like

-'Cause I'm naturally thin?

-No 'cause with a face like yours it doesn't matter what you weigh

-Uh don't start on me you greedy cow

-Look give it a rest the pair of you

-What you doing? topping up your carbon footprint?

-What's it to you?

-Are you allowed to have your engine running without a license?

-It's for the heat duh, and you're letting it all out

-Number 4?

-yeah thank you

-thank you, thank you


-Get off

-Wait, my dads going bananas as it is

-Oh I wish I was going to Southport

-Yeah I wish you were as well instead of Sian

-Oh don't be so pathetic

-Are you not eating?

-Oh I'm nil by mouth

-Nil by brain -Oy, I don't want any arguments

-Nil by common sense, nil by sensitivity


-Her with the cottage loaves on her ears?

-I wasn't talking about your hair

I was talking about the rest of you

-Ew, do you know where the mop is because your drooling everywhere


I'm talking too much aren't I?

-Yeah way too much

-Alright then


What you doing you loser?

-I thought that's what you wanted

-Yeah about as much as a kick in the face

-mum and dad are out

-Or we could go back to mine, my dads in

well at least I think he is

Soz underage

-I'm 28, do I need ID?

-I'm under age

Sunita will be back in a minute though

she's just letting Claire in, she's minding the kids

as long as you let me choose some of the music


-Now can I have the vodka?

-Kirk, I'm under age

-I can do the till bit if it helps

-Sometimes when we're in rehearsal

I want to proper let go like Beyoncé, you know

-You're fitter than Beyoncé you

-You need your eyes testing you

I loved them dungarees, I even slept in them sometimes

do you think that's what did it?

Yeah so we don't have to go out for take-aways

because going out means talking to people

and talking to people means

inviting them back to our house to trash it on YouTube

-Okay and I thought she was this nice, kind, caring mum

-Well no

-I have not got time to wait for that to warm through

-Right well I'll tell you what then, shall we eat it frozen?

-anyway what are you 2 doing, do you really think that's gonna help?

-You flamin' do it

-She's right it wasn't coming off anyway

-What a little creep. Last time I let him give me a lift

-God how many is that now?

-Um 5 so far

-I dunno ey?

hangers on are just not what they used to be

-Oh shut up

-The handbags getting smaller

-More like a purse at this rate -From the pound shop

-Put that on Facebook -Don't you dare!

That's Sian's

The kettle's just boiled

-You know did it ever occur to you to make me one?

-No because you're never up at this time

-Just been on the phone to my manager

-Oh my manager

-Well he is my manager, what else would you call him?


-Mum I'm not drunk -You are

walk in a straight line

-Mum, I'm a lesbian

I don't do anything straight

Oh and what's that supposed to mean?

-You know what that means

-What because I'm gay? you mean

oh well I'm sorry for being such a disappointment

-Hey I didn't say that

-Mum I've got my own personal slave now

I'm not moving for no-one baby

-You think He made that happen?

-No, I think gravity made that happen

I just think God chipped in at the end

and helped with the landing

-Right girls I've been thinking

-Oh don't tell Jason you'll worry him

Well I mean if I wasn't 100% sure I was a lesbian before

I definitely am now

Thanks Jim-Bob

-Do you want a hand?

-Only for the past 3 hours

but hey we survived

-I've another customer to serve, morning Sophie

-Morning Noz, can I put these up please?

-Its Noris and what are they?

-They're flyers for the charity auction tonight

-Yes well we don't normally allow pamphleteering

-Yes well its for charity

-Don't do it, you've got so much to live for

and I'm sure people will stop laughing at you soon


-And stick your head in the oven not the fridge its quicker

-Very funny

-We'll totally clean the whole house when we're done


-You told me to sell it

-Yeah Sian, sell the party

not us into slavery

-You always criticize

-Or give an extra 5 to keep Schmeichel alive


-Yeah lesbians have a special gift for poetry

-Get lost

-Have you ever heard of a thing called passive-aggressive

because that is exactly what you're doing right now

-No I haven't heard of that but,

have you ever heard of our, um

special offer on beans

'cause right now you can get two tins of beans and get 2p off

-Get lost

-Or Sian wait, you can even get

toilet roll now, 3 for 3 rolls

in a pack of 9

-Reception in the garden -Why?

-Well what if it rains?

-Well we just hire a Gazeebo don't we?

Sian it's freezing

-Not if we hire a Gazeebo

-Will you stop saying the word Gazeebo

-Not so exciting and romantic now is it?

Who you gonna invite, who you're not gonna invite

what you're gonna wear

-That's easy

matching dungarees


-She's having you on Sal

-I don't know how you manage with that water pressure

-Oh I know somebody in Greater Manchester turns a tap on

and our shower's reduced to a trickle

-I miss my power shower

-I bet it misses you too

-No excuses


Dev, I give up God to run with you

-You what?

-It's Sunday

I should be in church

now that is a sacrifice

-And if you don't come running with me that'll make God very angry


-Yeah, and you know what happens when God's angry?


-Plagues of locusts, earthquakes, pestilence

-My new trainers, they really pinch my toes

-Well we'll start off slow until you've warmed up then wont we? Come on

-You know he gave 110%

-I'm exhausted

-You hate that expression don't you?

-The odd pint here or there wont kill him

it's all about balance you know carrot as well as stick

and Dev

has earned a carrot

-Go Dev

And I promise I won't tell anybody you got knocked out by a girl

- I didn't get knocked out it was a glancing blow


52 today, 52 today

-Excuse me I am only 50

-Well see I've made you feel better about it already

Happy birthday Devster

She's on the phone to my dad

-Who? Kevin?

-No my other dad

-Which is the one with the biggest ears?


are you serious

-Yes, I really wanna ride on an elephant

-I hate John Stape that's why I did it

-Chesney hate is a very strong word

-Shut up Sophie

I suppose Rosie is more stylish

-Yeah mum way more stylish


-Mum what are them?


-Oh no not for me

-But you like parsnips

-No I don't, mum we have them every Christmas

and I've never liked them

-Do you like parsnips?


-Have you not been paying attention for the last 15 years?

-Do you like parsnips?

-Not overly fussed?

-I don't like parsnips

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